you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do vagina's smell?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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