You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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