Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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