I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize