Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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