I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
