I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize