his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
