i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
