honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
