What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
