it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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