I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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