his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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