One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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