You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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