oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
