Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
