If that was your dad, he is hot
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
