be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
