I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize