Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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