there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
