I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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