Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
