you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
