What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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