In the future we'll all be gay
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
