Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
