you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
