just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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