just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
