Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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