so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
