and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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