hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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