I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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