pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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