She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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