why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
