She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
