guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
