quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He has the fingertips of a God
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