Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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