i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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