My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
