Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I touched a dick in church today
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
