I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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