I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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