oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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