office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
