I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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