I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
