toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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