he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
