We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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