i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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