Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
