I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
