"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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