He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
