we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
