I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
