Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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