with your own penis?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
