i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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