pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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