Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Randomize
