Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
