Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
