Moan for me like Helen Keller
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
how drunk are you?
Several
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
